


A Final Message

by ilychuuya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Death, Grief/Mourning, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, I'm an asshole, Just angst, Kenma is sad, M/M, Past Kuroo Tetsurou/Kozume Kenma - Freeform, Please Don't Hate Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:46:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilychuuya/pseuds/ilychuuya
Summary: Kozume Kenma's therapist wants him to film a short video, for closure.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	A Final Message

“Hey, Kuro,” Kenma sighed, his shoulders slumped and feet dangling off the stool he was sitting on. “I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like… it’s not like you’re here to see it.” He looked up at the camera that was filming him, a slight frown painting his features. “My therapist said it’s for ‘closure’ or something. To help me cope. It sucks, Kuro. I… I really miss you. I know that if you were here, you’d tell me it isn’t my fault. And- well, I know that, I guess. I just… I wish it could’ve been different. Maybe… in another world. You were always going on about how maybe in another universe we’d grow old together. That would’ve been nice. A universe where you weren’t… you know, _dead_.” The word was sour in his mouth, and Kenma hated every part of it.

“It’s hard to say that word. It’s like I can’t… like I won’t accept it. Like my mind is trying to convince me that Kuro’s just gone on a holiday! Or, maybe Kuro’s on another business trip, and he’ll be back soon, and i just need to wait a few more days-” Kenma felt a lump rising in his throat, so he took a deep breath in and swallowed. “It’s been 3 months, Kuro.” Kenma was staring straight at the camera now, his eyes red and tired.

“I haven’t cried. I… I don’t know if I can. The tears are there, right behind my eyes but- but they don’t fall. I don’t know why. I wish I could just… just scream and cry and throw things around— something, anything to get rid of this feeling here,” Kenma poked at his chest a couple times, before letting his arm drop lamely to his side. “I just feel– empty. I can barely remember life without you, Kuro. You were always there for me. Always. But now you aren’t, Kuro, and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. It’ll be weird. Like a wound that will constantly be reopened and can never heal. I see you everywhere I go. In the house that we’d only just moved in to, in the picture frames along the walls, in the bed that’s now too big, the ugly clock that you _insisted_ that we buy. You’re everywhere, Kuro.”

Kenma takes a pause to breathe, and collect his thoughts. Thoughts that are mostly filled with Kuro; his smile, his laugh, his stupid hair. The hair that Kenma would want nothing more than to run his hands through right now. The warmth that Kuro would always radiate, and how he always knew what to say. Later, when he watched the footage again, Kenma would spot the softest smile tugging at the corners of his lips before disappearing, his face returning to a blank slate. Kuro was gone. Kuro is gone. 

“I’ve loved you for a long time. There was something about you that just made everything easy. You were amazing Kuro. I don’t know what else to say. I love you, and I think about you every minute of every day.” Kenma sighed again, blinking slowly. He wet his lips, before slipping off the stool to walk over to the camera. “I love you, Kuro.” he stated, ending the recording.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry...


End file.
